Letters
by karalynn79
Summary: Can't Cry Hard Enough outtake.
1. Letter to Jude

Letter to Jude

Dear Jude,

Where to start? Well, first I hope you are getting the help you need. I'm sure you are. If I could have fixed everything for you, I would have. That way we wouldn't be apart. I can't even start explaining how much I miss and love you. You are my reason for being here. I wish I could come see you just for a few minutes, but I promise you I will abide by your wishes and wait until you come home. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I guess it's true because after all the time we've spent a part over the years, I'm more in love with you now than ever.

I'm sitting in my office right now because going home is the last thing I want to do. It's too lonely there. I miss the nights you and I would curl up on the couch. Sometimes we'd watch TV but some nights we'd just sit in silence with the stereo in the background. It was easy just being with you. I wish it had always been that way. I know we've broken each other's hearts before, but I truly believe that is far behind us. I know we will really make it this time. We've grown up over the years. And I know you are it for me.

Do you remember the week before your eighteenth? That day when I finally gave in was the happiest I'd ever been. We made so many plans that day at the farm house. When you get home we should spend a long weekend up there. We could stay in bed all day and make love all night. I never told you, but I bought it off your dad after you left for London. I needed to hold on to part of you.

So many people have been hurt because of us over the years; Sadie, Jamie, Katie, even Spied. Still to this day I wish I had just swept you off your feet when you were sixteen. We could have run away together and nothing would have pulled us apart. It would have been you and me against the world, but that wasn't our life. We spent too much time fighting our feelings and each other.

When I was engaged to Katie, nothing ever seemed right. My heart still ached for you everyday. I think you've been in my heart since that first day at G Major. But what twenty-two year old is going to admit to falling for a fifteen year old. You were so fierce. I loved working with you because you reminded me what was good in music. So many people were in the business for the fame, but not you. You wanted in for the music.

I know you said you had lost your music, but I believe you will get it back. You have to have faith in yourself. Jude, you have more talent than anyone out there. I know loosing your mom made you feel like you lost part of yourself. It's still there you just have dig deep to find it. I will do anything in my power to help you. I just want you to be happy and I know music has always made you happy.

The past two weeks have definitely been a trial. I've found that working on Instant Star is not for me when you are not around. Darius agreed, so I am only working with signed artists. It took my disappearing to the farm house for almost a week for us to realize where I belong. There's way too much drama around the competition. I will explain it all to you when you get home.

I can't wait for you to get home and we can start our future. I told you one time I wanted to travel the world with you. I promise we will finally go to all those places we always talked about. Remember all those post cards from Thailand? I want to revisit all those places with you. I can see us wrapped in each other on the beach as the sun is setting. Maybe we could go to Rome. We could visit your mom's grave, but only if you feel up to it. If there is anywhere you want to go, just tell me and I will take you there. I have plenty of vacation days saved up.

I am counting the days until you are back in my arms. I hate not waking up to you every morning. Your skin so warm against mine; it makes me want to call in sick everyday and stay right there with you. I love the sounds you make in the morning just as you're waking up and stretching. I think I could watch you for hours. Your beauty brightens my day.

Do you remember our first night together at the rehearsal space? I so should have taken you to my place, but in that moment I wanted you so badly. I still ache for you that way. I don't think that will ever go away; at least I hope it won't.

I would get you up to date with everyone else, but I have been terribly self- centered lately. I haven't spoken to any of the guys to know how things are going with them. I did get a message from Spied about Kyle's bachelor party. It's the night before you come home. So I might go. I'll see if Kwest is going. I know I need to be more social. I see what I can do about that.

I hope everyone is treating you well there. I've heard horror stories about celebrities in rehab. You're so likable that I doubt you are having any problems. I hope your cast isn't getting in your way to bad either.

I was going to keep this as a surprise, but I just have to tell you. Darius found a guy who can rebuild your Mustang. He had it towed to his shop the other day. It will take a while, but she'll be back up and running.

So, now that I have been scattered all over the place, I should let you get back to what you need to be doing. I hope you are still listening to my song. It came from deep down in my heart. I love you deeply and can't wait to see you.

Love Always,

Tommy

**If I get a good enough response, I will write Jude's response.**


	2. Letter to Tommy

**So here is Jude's resonse. Enjoy.**

Letter to Tommy

Dear Tommy,

I was shocked when Sadie gave me your letter. I have read it over and over. Your words brought tears to my eyes. I love and miss you more than words can express. Some days are harder than others, but I feel like this place is really helping me deal with some issues. My therapist tells me that I have held in a lot of emotions over the last few years and loosing my mom sort of broke the dam. I've been having two sessions a day with her and a group session. Tomorrow is the first day I won't have a solo session, but I will still have group sessions everyday. Lessa says we will only be meeting on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the rest of my stay. It opens my schedule for visitations.

Sadie told me you've been sleeping in your office. I know going home is hard, but you need to get your sleep. I remember what you are like on no sleep. Remember that morning when we were starting my second album. That was such a long time ago. Please don't beat yourself up over the years we spent fighting our feeling for each other. I believe everything happens for a reason. You were meant to date my sister and I was meant to date Spied. But that is all behind us. It's me and you now, and I never want anyone else in my life. But some of my favorite memories of us are when we were friends.

I'm sorry that working on Instant Star is so hard for you. It's not surprising there is drama around the show. Hope G Major has enough to keep you busy. In just a couple of weeks I will be home. I love your idea of a long vacation. It would be nice to put flowers on mom's grave. I still dream of going to Thailand with you. I think it's something we both need. I love all our friends and my family, but being away with you sounds like pure heaven.

I can't believe you bought the farm. I'd almost forgotten about that day we went out there. We were going to be the perfect couple. All we needed was each other. I remember what you said that day about wanting to ask me to run away so many times. I would have said yes in a heartbeat, but knowing what I know now, I don't think we would have made it. We both had a lot of growing up to do.

Now we are both mature enough to really commit to each other. I don't ever want to look for someone again. Everything that you are is what I want. Just think of the stories we will have to tell our children and grandchildren. I really can't wait to start our lives together. I hope I am not jumping the gun too much, but I have a feeling you feel the same way I do about everything. We've wasted so much time already.

I absolutely love your idea of having a long weekend at the farm. Just me, you, and a big comfortable bed. I miss being in your arms. It will be a nice change of pace to just cuddle in bed with you all day. We'll have to wait until my cast is taken off. I think it will make things a little easier; if you know what I mean.

Everyone has treated me really well in here. My roommate has made me very comfortable. She even sits up with me on the nights I wake up from nightmares. No one treats me like I am any different from anyone else. We all are in here the same thing; to learn how to overcome addictions. Lessa still says she's not sure that I am really addicted. That is the main reason she wants to dig into my past so much. She hasn't really said what she thinks is my problem; she just really listens to me.

My visit with Sadie and dad was really nice today. I had been nervous to see them because I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with not seeing you. I know it was my idea and I still believe it is what's best. I need to learn how to be myself so I can be the best for you.

You said you didn't know what everyone was up to. Well, I really think you should get out and have some fun. It will do you some good. And go to Kyle's bachelor party. I bet it will be a blast. I know if I was home, I'd be going. I can't wait to be able to hand out with everyone again.

About everything you said about my music; I want to say thank you for believing in me. Only time will tell about that though. But your faith in me means the world to me.

That is so awesome that Darius found someone to rebuild my car. I missed that car while I was in Europe. But never as much as I missed you. Again I wish there were words to describe how much I love you. I really can't wait to be in your arms to show you just how much.

Promise me to go out with our friends. Make sure you go home and sleep in your own bed. It will help you dream of me. I will see you in a couple of weeks.

I listen to your song all the time. It is so beautiful. I promise to come back to you.

I love you with everything I have and everything I am.

Love,

Jude

I was so surprised at the response I got from the last letter. I haven't decided yet if this will be the last one. Jude is still in rehad for two more weeks. You guys let me know what you want. Please Review.


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